If you’ve known me for awhile, then you’re probably aware of my affiliation with a little word called CINEMATIC. In 2017, I had the crazy idea to take the songs I had been producing in my apartment and start releasing them, and behold, the Scene One and Scene Two EPs were born. We laughed, we cried, and we ate cheeseburgers. It was a great time.
During the two years I that was promoting the Scenes, my social media was drenched in pink and blue. Creating visuals is one of my favorite parts of being an artist, and I had a lot of fun with those colors. So, when it came time to close the curtain on the Cinematic era, I kinda felt sad about leaving its aesthetic behind. But I started brainstorming about what this new project might look like. I thought deeply about what I wanted you to feel, not just when you listened to the songs, but when you saw the cover art, and watched the music videos, and so on and so forth.
When I wrote Cinematic, those songs were each solely focused on one emotion. “Columbus” was angry. “Guilty” was sad. “Person” was anxious. It was your fault, or it was my fault. All of those feelings were separated from each other the way that they only are when you’re 19. And as I passed through my early twenties, somewhere in between the last note of “Person” and the first note of my new album, I learned something big.
Feelings do not fit in boxes. You can be excited and terrified. You can dance on tables and cry on couches. You can care so much and yet not care at all. You can wear pink and still feel blue and that’s okay.
This album discusses how hard it is to feel all of these things at once. So it felt right to color it purple. Lavender, if we’re being specific. Aside from simply loving the color itself, I also love that lavender represents calm in nature. I have always been open about my struggle with anxiety, and on this record I speak to that more freely than ever. There was a period of time where I considered actually naming this album Lavender—but I nixed that idea when I came up with what is now the official title. (Sorry, I’m not ready to give that away just yet.)