Viewing entries tagged
feelings

normal

I’ve always been an introvert. Most of my childhood was spent hiding in my ice-cream-themed-bedroom, writing and dreaming (and scheming). The adult version looks pretty much the same—except it includes my sacred routine of leaving parties early to go home and wrap myself in a blanket of silence. 

I’m okay with it now, but it took me awhile to accept it. I was jealous of my friends who could go out and talk to strangers for hours without feeling mentally drained. I assumed that as I got older, I would naturally become more social, but so far the result has been quite the opposite. I’m obsessed with exploring the far corners of my mind and stretching the boundaries of my knowledge. But the more that I learn about the world around me, the more sensitive I become to it. The background noise becomes louder. The colors get brighter. I think that if I only saw and talked to two people a day, I would feel satisfied.

The lesson I have learned from all of this, and what I want to share with you, is that your personality and your tendencies don’t have to be “normal”. They become normal when you choose to embrace them and use them to your advantage. I spent so much time feeling frustrated with myself for wanting to be alone, until I realized that being alone is my superpower. I have created layers of sounds and visuals from a space in my mind that is only reachable in solitude. That’s pretty epic. Maybe I’m not coming to your party—but I’m gonna write a song called “I’m Not Coming To Your Party”. And maybe it’s gonna be the 3rd single from my album. Hint hint.

I challenge you this week to really think about what your strengths are. Think about the ways that you can be more you, even if it feels weird at first. Don’t let anybody convince you to go out or stay in—listen to your gut and make your own choice. Oh, and listen to the song “Normal” by Sasha Sloan. She’s the queen of the introverts and the narrator of my life.

Amy

timelines

I’m super type A and everybody knows it. A long time ago, I decided that whenever I write my autobiography, it’s going to be titled “Type A Stands For Amy.” So look for that in a Barnes and Noble near you in about 20 years.

Releasing new music brings out my type A-ness in its most monstrous form. There’s so much more to the process of releasing a song than most people are aware of. For example, six weeks before the song’s release date, it is sent off to Spotify and Apple Music for review, in hopes that it will be added to playlists. Then, two weeks before the release, the song is sent to a distributor, who makes sure the title, copyright, and credits are correct in the iTunes database. Not to mention, before all of this can be done, there’s an album cover shoot, graphic design meetings, and so on and so forth. I’m getting a headache just typing this.

So basically, you can’t just wake up one day and decide you want to release a song in five minutes.

I wanted so badly to put a song out in February, but life got in the way… big time. It’s been especially hard to hold this project back, because I’m so insanely proud of it, and I want all of you to have the opportunity to dance to it ASAP. But, at the end of the day, I have to believe that there is a reason for everything. I know that my record will be introduced to the world on the perfect date. I just have no idea what that date is. 

We are all working towards and waiting for things that sometimes feel unattainable. Like waiting for that person to like you back. And waiting for high school to end. And waiting for someone to present you with an unexpected $10,000 check. (Okay, that last one might just be me.) Whether you’re type A or B or any other letter of the alphabet, let’s all try to hang in there together. insert sappy quote about patience here

Amy

lavender

Comment

lavender

If you’ve known me for awhile, then you’re probably aware of my affiliation with a little word called CINEMATIC. In 2017, I had the crazy idea to take the songs I had been producing in my apartment and start releasing them, and behold, the Scene One and Scene Two EPs were born. We laughed, we cried, and we ate cheeseburgers. It was a great time.

During the two years I that was promoting the Scenes, my social media was drenched in pink and blue. Creating visuals is one of my favorite parts of being an artist, and I had a lot of fun with those colors. So, when it came time to close the curtain on the Cinematic era, I kinda felt sad about leaving its aesthetic behind. But I started brainstorming about what this new project might look like. I thought deeply about what I wanted you to feel, not just when you listened to the songs, but when you saw the cover art, and watched the music videos, and so on and so forth. 

When I wrote Cinematic, those songs were each solely focused on one emotion. “Columbus” was angry. “Guilty” was sad. “Person” was anxious. It was your fault, or it was my fault. All of those feelings were separated from each other the way that they only are when you’re 19. And as I passed through my early twenties, somewhere in between the last note of “Person” and the first note of my new album, I learned something big.

Feelings do not fit in boxes. You can be excited and terrified. You can dance on tables and cry on couches. You can care so much and yet not care at all. You can wear pink and still feel blue and that’s okay.

This album discusses how hard it is to feel all of these things at once. So it felt right to color it purple. Lavender, if we’re being specific.  Aside from simply loving the color itself, I also love that lavender represents calm in nature. I have always been open about my struggle with anxiety, and on this record I speak to that more freely than ever. There was a period of time where I considered actually naming this album Lavender—but I nixed that idea when I came up with what is now the official title. (Sorry, I’m not ready to give that away just yet.)

Amy

Comment